Okay - think it's bad I married my sister's husband's brother? Check THIS out...wow

So - I don't even know how to start this. Here's the deal.

While checking-out, just before closing, a customer commented on my smile. He was glad to see me happy and smiling this time of night. He said it reminded him of "Abigail" and asked if I was like this (Smiley) a lot.

So I bite.

"Who is Abigail?" I ask.

"My wife."

"Oh."

"Yeah," he says, "She was horrible. We shouldn't have gotten married. My 2nd wife had just died and Abigail had just gotten a divorce and neither of us should have gotten involved so soon."

Over the next 30 minutes - even after my reminding him the store is about to close, hence the lights turning off - he told me the story (and told me to look for the book).

Back in the day - he is now 60 years old - he was newly married and needed extra money. He'd learned he could get money with every deposit to a sperm bank. He must have made a lot of money, because not long ago somebody sued somebody else and donations were traced to him. In addition to the 6 boys he raised, he has 29 OTHER sons and six daughters. Many of the sons were Soldiers - as he once was. He figured 'Soldiering' must run in his genes. He showed me his fake leg, thanks to injuries sustained in Viet Nam. Nice leg.

He told of finding out about a son he'd 1/2 fathered, growing up in an east-coast jewish family. The boy moved away to college where the love of his life was a west-coast protestant girl. After their baby was born with Sickle-Cell, the testing showed their relation - they have the same father. Word is, the couple stayed married, but had no other children.

He figures he could likely have 300 children around the world, and he welcomes each who contacts him, and would welcome those yet to track him down.

Back to his 2nd wife. She was killed in a car accident, along with their 8-week-old baby. After the death a knock on the door brought him face to face with men asking about a 'hit' on his wife. See, his 2nd wife was in the Witness protection program - unbeknownst to him - and seems likely it wasn't "no [sic] accident."

Abigail was bipolar. But not the first bipolar woman in his life. His dear mother shared the affliction. She was all over the place. One day, he complained about dinner so she stabbed him with a knife. Nothing says LOVE like a Shun stuck in one's shin. He'd have none-of-that, so he stabbed her back. She spent the rest of her life - after that event - in a "funny farm." Mommy-dearest was overheard talking to a daughter-in-law about how she should have killed that boy (My customer) when he was little.

Wife number 4 - Remember the whole Woody whatshisface deal and his adopted daughter? Yup. Before he married wife number 4 he had to first UN-adopt her. He wasn't married to the woman's mother - but was listed on the woman's birth cirtificate as a 'favor' to the mother.

His life extended beyond Alabama. Recently, as a contractor in Iraq he and a woman were caught in a fire-fight and thought they were going to die. The woman agreed to have 'one last fling' if he'd promise to marry her. He dove right in. As you can guess, he didn't die. Nor did she. AND they didn't marry.

But....Kid number forty-FIVE is now on the way.

Only in Alabama.

Abby wasn't the only